So many of my friends surrounded me with support and encouragement over the last year. Many of them knew something was wrong but had no idea what it was. My FB post were sometimes cryptic and sometimes just so vague that no one could tell what was going on (physical, emotional, mental, financial). They were definitely with me . . . they were in the car but had no idea where we were going . . .
I feel like this is the time when I explain things . . .
Sept. 1, 2010 I fell and fractured my knee and hip simultaneously. That began what seems like a downward spiral. The medication used to treat me after the fall caused some damage to my body in different ways and as a result I got sicker. I am not one for graphic or medical details . . . so that really is enough said. The fall also led the doctors to the brain tumor. The tumor was a strange and rare anomaly - it was just a tumor. And the cause was a car accident I had when I was 13 in which there was head trauma. So that was behind me and I felt good about recovery. I am still really careful and don't want to ever hit my head.
Right after the surgery, I recieved a very large medical bill and notification that I no longer had health insurance. Oh, snap, I need to follow up on the brain tumor and I have all these other medical issues what am I going to do ? Well, I had just started a new job and I had income but I did not have health insurance. So the search was on for affordable health insurance. And no matter how sick I was or what was happening public assistance would not approve me . . . so it got really scary. And, lo and behold, there was no health insurance I could afford. So, in February I started a horribly stressful existence of choosing monthly between mortgage, food, meds, utilities . . . and I did that terrible dance til June when my contract ended and I became umemployed and had no health insurance.
So, yeah, no paycheck since May 30th and no health insurance made this a very scary and difficult summer. My housemate kicked in big time and used her savings to cover things. And her ability to pay saved me big time. Special thank you to her for EVERYTHING. I often think this cryptic year of living with me knowing something was wrong/going on and having no idea what drove her crazy but she hung in there with me - prayed with me and tried to care for me. She's a blessing.
Back to the matter at hand. So, yeah, I kept getting sick . . . now sick is one of those words that could mean a cold or could mean a disease . . . we'll suffice it to say that with me yeah, it ran the gamut. I knew the stress was affecting me . . . and it was horrible. I watched all the depression commercials thinking that I could avoid it all by not acting like those folks : ). I all I wanted to do was sleep . . . no engery and I just couldn't really eat . . . and I felt like I was in one big knot. But I seemed to be handling it and I thought I was handling it . . . but my body was not handling it.
So, a few weeks ago I woke up with a strange tingling in my hand/wrist. I got up started moving around and it just felt like I fell asleep on it the wrong way. Turns out my body was starting the "stroke process." That's right at 41 I was in danger of stroking. So my first lesson is MOVEMENT IS GOOD! Even when I'm sitting I now move my legs or arms . . . open and close my fists . . . make your body move. The result was also being put on a steroid. The steroid helped. When I went to my doctor for the follow up I got a different doctor in the practice and she has made all the difference. I think the fact that she took a urine sample and could see the blood suspended in my urine made her a little freaked out but it has been happening to me since April so I am used to it. Yeah, I did just say that I was used to urinating blood. I didn't have health insurance - I had no idea how I was going to feed myself - I couldn't afford meds, so I just sort of rode it out . . . tried to eat better and drink more water and cut down on soda . . . you know that sort of thing but again, I thought I was dealing with it.
Anyway, the ER visit, steriods, and doctor who knew I shouldn't be urinating blood all came together on a Friday morning and sent me into test/treatment mode.
And for a few weeks I felt better than I had in over a year. I went almost 3 weeks with no pain. Unfortunately, the SHOCK they did to help my systems worked really well and the weaning process has started. I mean its good the shock worked and I'm glad it worked so well, but as they wean me from the meds I am beginning to feel again. Today for the first time in almost a month I slept past 7:00 a.m. and I am tired. They told me what to expect so I was prepared to have a few off days. For the next few days I will be in pain and a little listless. I am not looking forward to this . . . even though I know it's really only a few days. On Friday, I'll spend the day at the hospital letting them poke, probe, picture and draw fluids. And then it is on ! That's right ! It's on ! The Season of Healing . . . my journey back to a place of health is a reality.
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